I hate writing about relationships, which is why I’ve put off a post like this several times in my travels.

But I’ve reached a point in my trip where it can’t be avoided.

Throughout this trip I’ve met boys, kissed them, liked them, left them, broken hearts and had my own broken. But up until now I’ve never actually fallen for one of them.

It started with flirtation at work, continued with a kiss in the middle of the main street in town and progressed to spending every day together. The whole time I thought it was just fun, fun, fun. Then one day I realized I was changing my own plans in order to spend more time with him. It was just little changes in my day-to-day routine, but nonetheless changes to suit someone else, from a girl who actually encourages selfishness.

Travel is selfish. It’s not a bad thing, just the way it is. A person spends months, sometimes years, saving up for the trip of  a lifetime. So when that person reaches his or her destination, he or she has every right to spend his or her money and time how he or she chooses.

That mindset was easy when I was constantly moving and never really forming lasting relationships. But when I finally stopped, my selfish self slowly faded away. I met friends that made me want to think of more than just myself and formed relationships that made me want to give more than just a day.

Even if I felt like Port Douglas was my home, I always knew it wouldn’t last. I was going to leave here at some point and leave all the people I has become so close with. Still, I never thought that “just a fling” would make the move this difficult.

It’s probably the most nerve-wrecking thing for independent women to find themselves rethinking their plans. I changed my departure date twice, because I wanted more time with another person. It’s hard to tell what’s the right thing to do in a situation like this and I think inevitably you just need to follow your heart and do what makes you happy, but even that can be shaky.

Say you’re both on the road and want to try to make your encounter more than brief. Someone has to compromise. You both came to a place with things you wanted to see and do. If those things are the same than that’s luck, but they’ll most likely be different, especially if you’re at different points on your trip. So who is going to change their plans and how do you know the person that does won’t feel subconsciously bitter about it.

Further, people aren’t always themselves abroad. I know I can be a bit different from place to place and I’m definitely more relaxed while traveling than I am at home. So how do you know you won’t discover a new person in your significant other after only a few weeks traveling together and when you do, what do you do? Where do you go? It’s not easy to up and change your plans when your on a budget.

It’s not easy to leave someone you like, but sometimes it can be even harder to stay with them.

Relationships can bring on a level of stress to someone who is constantly on the go. So why bother? Is it even worth it?

Yes.

One shouldn’t avoid dating abroad for fear of getting too attached. The people you meet, the moments you have with them and things you learn are worth any heart ache or loss.

Everyone has needs and they shouldn’t be neglected. Dating people abroad can produce some exhilarating experiences; spending the night kissing a stranger along the waterways in Amsterdam, running off with someone for a few days to Paris, shacking up with someone for a few months in Thailand.

Further, dating people outside your own culture is fun and intriguing. It adds a difference in dating that most people never experience. Every culture has differences in everything from kissing to cuddling. It keeps you on your toes, because you really don’t know what to expect.

Inevitably, I think it’s important to give a bit of yourself to romance during your travels, but never lose yourself completely. The most important person on your trip is you and the last thing you want to do is leave a place thinking, “God I wish I hadn’t of wasted two months following some guy around.”

When you find yourself neglecting what you want to do for another, stop and think about it.

If you’re meant to be with someone you will be again…at some point, somewhere in the world. But you may never have the freedom you have in this trip. The time and the choice to just go wherever and do whatever you want. Embrace it.

It may sound corny, but you’re the most important person in your life, because if you’re not happy, you can’t be happy with other people.